Healing
by Sjani2007
Summary: After Pocahontas II. What if Pocahontas didn't find out that John Smith was alive, when she visited England. But learned it after several years of being married to John Rolfe.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: After Pocahontas II. What if Pocahontas didn't find out that John Smith was alive, when she visited England. But learned it after several years of being married to John Rolfe.

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine...

**Chapter 1**

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'What a beautiful morning' Pocahontas thought as she strolled down the street of Jamestown, enjoying the ray's of the sun. She had just bought breakfast from one of the local merchants, and was on her way home, when she felt someone gaze at her. She quickly turned around, seeing no one. 'Hmm, I must be imagining things', she thought with a smile, then continued to her house. The kitchen was small but homely, and she put her eggs down on the counter, before proceeding to the bedroom. She couldn't help but smile, noticing her husband was still in bed. "You..." she said and pulled off the blanket. "...need to get up this instant". He groaned sleepy and sat up in bed. "Okay okay, I'm up", he said with a smile, then reached up to kiss her on the cheek.

They ate breakfast in comfortable silence, before Pocahontas stood up. "I was thinking of visiting my father today", she said looking at John, who nodded in agreement. "That's good, you haven't seen him in a while", he told her then took a sip of his water. "Are okay on your own today?" she asked and he grinned at her question. "I can take care of myself, Pocahontas. I've done it before", he said with a gentle smile, and she laughed silently. "Of course my love". They quickly finished eating, and Pocahontas packed a bag with some bread. "Have a nice day, and don't forget to greet your father from me", he said, then kissed her softly on the lips.

She mounted her horse heading toward the indian village. She hadn't seen her father in over a month and looked forward to seeing him again. And Nakoma of course. They hadn't been seeing each other much, since they now both were married. Pocahontas to an English man and Nakoma to one of the men in the village. They were so differnt from each other now. However she still loved her best friend more than anything.

The village was a couple of miles away, but on horseback she easily made it there. Her father appeared from his tent as soon as she got off her horse, and she quickly ran into his arm. "Wing-gap-o, father" she said and looked up at him. He smiled and led her to the river bank and they both sat down. "How are you my child. Is everything well in Jamestown?" he asked with a snort and Pocahontas grinned, knowing that her father disapproved of the settlers. "Everything is fine. More houses are being built and grocers are appearing everywhere. It looks amazing", she said with a smile and her father looked away. "I'm glad", he said then changed the subject. "How is your husband?" he asked, having approved of John Rolfe long ago, wanting his daughter to be happy. He had been surprised when she had returned with the man, she didn't like, when they were at the village first. But soon he had also learned to like him.

They talked for some time, before Pocahontas decided to go. "I think I will take a tour through the forest", she told her father, getting up from her place in the grass. Her father nodded, hugging her goodbye, and she was soon riding through the forest to the high mountain, where she could see all of Jamestown. It was a perfect space to spot new ships, and she could already see several, which made their way to the new town. People from England often came to settle in this new town, and she loved seeing the beautiful ships appear in the horizon, however she hadn't been on the cliff for years. Her feet stumbled toward something and she looked down to see what had caught her attention.

The compass lay before her feet, and she bowed down to gently pick it up. It lay just where she had left it that winter long ago, but now the snow was gone and grass grew around it. Her thoughts wandered to the day she had left it there. The day she had said goodbye to John Smith. It seemed like a lifetime ago, yet it had been only five years. Had it really been so long since she had been here. She sat down and turned the compass over. His name was still engraved in the polished tree, but the name had almost dissapeared. She hugged it to herself, letting her mind wander six years back to when he first had showed her it. Everything had been so new and exciting, and John had told her the most wonderful stories of his home land. She remembered their first meeting under the great tree and how offended she became when he called her people for savages. She smiled to herself. He had been so cute, when he fell from down from the tree. A sigh went through her and she looked into the horizon. He had been dead for almost five years now, but she still couldn't forget him. He had changed her life in so many ways, and she had often regretted that she didn't go with him to London. However if she had, she may never have been introduced to John Rolfe. And he was her whole life now.

She put the compass in her bag, wanting to keep it just a little longer. She quickly mounted her horse, heading towards Jamestown once more. The ride was long and she was thirsty, when she arrived at her house. John wasn't anywhere to be seen, but Pocahontas knew he probably was at the wharf, where the new ships were coming in. She took a glass of water, then decided to join her husband at the dock. It was always exciting to see what the new ships brought. And perhaps it brought new people, who had decided to settle in Jamestown. She hoped so, longing to meet some new people, because she still hadn't found any real friends in the little town.

The dock was full of people who bore cargo from the ships, but she immediately spotted John Rolfe, who stood talking to a man. She didn't want to interrupt, so she stayed where she was, enjoying the smell of the salt water. Rolfe only talked for a couple of minutes , then bowed gracefully and turned around. "What are you doing here?" he asked with a smile, when he reached her, and she took his hand. "I just wanted to see the ships dock", she told him and kissed him lightly on the cheek, then proceeded- "What were you and that other man talking about?", she asked curiously, and John scratched the back of his head.

"Well you see, I have been asked to come to England to to do the king a favour, and I'm leaving with the ships tomorrow. "Oh..." was all she could say. She didn't really feel like going to London again, even though she thought the town was beautiful. She had just adjusted to the life in Jamestown, and she didn't feel like leaving the small town. "I really want you to come with me, but I will be staying at court", so I can't take you with me", John said and Pocahontas sighed in relief, then looked at her husband. "I will miss you", she said and hugged him tightly. "And I will miss you", he answered.

The next morning she helped him pack all of his belongings, then followed him to the dock. It was harder to say goodbye, than she had imagined, and she cried desperately, when he went up the gangway. For a long time she just stood watching the ship dissappear into the horizon. Hugging herself, she started going back to the house. It would be so empty without him. Maybe she should go live with her father, so she could have some company. Yes that was what she would do. When she got back to the house, she quickly packed everything she needed, then headed out the door, mounting her horse.

She arrived at the village safely, jumping from the horse and heading to her fathers tent. He sat inside with Kekata, and they seemed to have a serious conversation. When they saw her they immediately stopped talking, and looked at her nervously. "What?" she asked, but they both kept their silence. "Nothing my sweet child" her father said and stood up. "We were just discussing the weather", he said, but Pocahontas didn't belive them. However she didn't push. They would tell her, when they were ready to share.

She left her fathers tent, and quickly spotted Nakoma, who was washing laundry at the river. The indian princess joined her friend, and Nakoma smiled a big smile, when she reached her. "So, I guess your father told you", she started. "You must be so relieved", she continued and Pocahontas looked at her awkwardly. "What are you talking about. He didn't tell me anything", she said and sat down on the river bank. "Oh...then...no nothing", Nakoma said and turned her attention back to her dirty clothes. Pocahontas crossed her arms, looking angrily at her best friend. "Okay, this is too much. No one will tell me anything. What is it that you're hiding?" she asked raising her voice. Nakoma fidgeted with her dress, then looked into the river. "Well you see...John Smith has been seen alive...in Jamestown", she finished, watching her friend to see her reaction. Pocahontas froze and her eyes became distant. Nakoma looked at her worriedly. "Are you okay?" she asked and took her friend's hand. "I...I...how do you know?" the princess asked, tears forming in her eyes. "Some people from the village regconized him in Jamestown a couple of days ago", Nakoma said gazing sympatheticly at her friend."But...but...are you sure it was him?" Pocahontas continued, putting a hand in the still water. "Yes, they were sure", the native girl told her, and Pocahontas clenched her hand together in the cold river. "I never thought that he could be alive. I mean...I haven't heard from him in almost six years", she said and hugged herself as a shiver went through her. Nakoma hugged her friend gently, as she started to cry. "What are you gonna do?" the other girl asked and Pocahontas dried her eyes. "I have to see him...But...maybe he doesn't want to see me, since he hasn't contacted me", she said thoughtfully, and looked at the other native girl."You have to know for sure, and the only way of to do that is to contact him", Nakoma said looking at her face questioningly. "You do want to see him, right?" she asked and touched a hand to the soft grass. Pocahontas bowed her head looking at the ground, not knowing what to say. A few minutes went by, and still she didn't say anything. She just looked at the river, loving the sound of the water washing against the river bank. "I'll go see him", she said finally breaking the silence. Nakoma nodded and stood up, reaching a hand out to her friend. Pocahontas took it gratefully and stood up. "This is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life", she said on a sob, and Nakoma smiled at her sadly. "I know. But maybe seeing him, can finally bring you some closure", she said and followed Pocahontas to her horse. The indian princess mounted the horse and looked down at her friend. "Please tell my father goodbye...and that I know", she said and smiled a sad smile, before spurring her horse on. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

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When she arrived in Jamestown, she didn't have any idea of where to go. He could be anywhere. She dismounted her horse and left it at her house, then started down the main street. Several men worked on new houses and she looked at each of them carefully. He was nowhere to be seen. It was late evening, when she decided to give up, but when she passed the local pub called Midnight Valley she suddenly heard the voice, she would never forget.

"It was the most thrilling experience I ever had". She immediately noticed that his speech was slurred and she entered the pub silently, not letting him know that she was there. She was confronted with his back as she came to a halt, and she looked at him carefully. He was engrossed in a conversation with five other men, who obviously listened to one of his adventures. He wore the same blue clothes and boots as always, and she couldn't help but smile. All this time and he hadn't changed a bit.

"The savages attacked at dawn, but we slaughtered every single one of them", he said proudly, and her eyes widened. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. He _had_ changed and not for the better. She crossed her arms over her chest, and stood still, even as he turned around to look at her. He went quiet for a minute, then started laughing. "Look it's the indian princess", he said and took another sip of his ale. She looked at him crossly, waiting for him to say something to her. "It's a great honour", he smiled and bowed deeply. She didn't like the way he was acting, and she had never seen any other man behave this badly. "I thought you were dead", she said silently and he looked at her with a grin. "Greatly exaggerated", he answered and shrugged his shoulders. She looked at him carefully. He was just as handsome as he used to be, but the glint in his eyes made her uncomfortable. He seemed so distant, so full of rage, and she feared not being able to reach his common sense.

"John...What are you doing here...alive?" she asked, wanting to touch his shoulder, but staying where she was, not daring to move a muscle. "I'm here, telling about my wonderful journeys", he said with a dazed expression on his beautiful face. She put her hands on her hips staring at him angrily. "How could you do this to me? Why didn't you tell me that you were alive?" she asked, tears forming in her eyes, but he just laughed at her once more. "I'm sorry if I didn't contact you, but I didn't want to interrupt your new life. You're a married woman now, I hear", he said and stopped grinning. "To the great John Rolfe", he continued and looked at her with an sinister expression. She didn't flinch at all, but just stared back at him, equally angry. How dared he be mad at her? He hadn't contacted her for several years. How could she know that he was alive?

He approached her, but she kept standing tall. "Just leave", he said when he reaced her. "I don't need you anymore", he continued, then turned away from her. Her heart broke into a thousand pieces at his words, but she quickly dried her eyes, not wanting to cry in front of him. She simply refused to do so. It would only give him more chance to hurt her.

She turned to leave, then heard him tell the others. "Imagine that I found her fascinating once", he said with an evil grin, and she couldn't keep the tears from coming to her eyes as she fled out the door. She sighed in defeat and sat down on the side of the road in front of the pub. How could he be so cruel to her? She had never imagined that his gentle spirit could turn into something so vile, and she cried silent tears as she heard him go on with telling the others about his travels. For several hours she sat outside, listening to all of his adventures, but she felt no exitement listening to them, as they all were about war and death. It was close to midnight when he finally emerged from the pub, and almost fell over her still form. He looked down at her and his smile dissapeared. "Why don't you just go home", he said then started to walk away from her.

She quickly got up and followed him down the street, wanting to talk some sense into him. "John, if I had known you were alive, I might not have married John Rolfe", she tried, but he cut her off immediately. "Might not, gee that helps", he said and tried to walk away from her, but she would have none of that. Stepping in front of him, she stared at him with an angry expression. "This is your own fault!" she said loudly and he finally stopped looking at her. "My fault? That you married that idiot?" he said warningly. "I wouldn't have, if you had come back to me!" she told him in a raised voice, but he just grinned at her. "Well it's too late now anyway. May I go?" he asked and she stepped aside. "This isn't over", she muttered to herself as he turned and walked away from her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

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She awoke before dawn, sitting up in bed, thinking about the previous night. Never in her life had she thought that John could be this cruel. He was an entirely different person from what she used to know. He had always been so gentle with her, holding her close like she was a fragile porcelain doll. But now he was almost as cruel as Ratcliffe had been, and it scared her. 'How am I ever going to get him back?' she thought and dressed in silence. Riding out to the glade, she wanted to talk with Grandmother Willow. She needed some advice, and only the great tree could give her that. "Is that my Pocahontas?" the old tree asked as the native girl kneeled in front of her. "Yes, Grandmother Willow, I need some advice about..." "About John Smith", she finished and Pocahontas looked down at her hands. "He is so furious with me, and I cannot seem to get through to his common sense", she said on a sigh, and the old tree seemed to think about it for a moment. "You must try to stir his memories of your time together. Only that way will he remember how much he has missed you", she said and Pocahontas nodded. "I'll try...If I even can get him to talk to me", the girl said and stood up. "I would like to see him again", the great tree said, and the indian princess nodded once more. "I'll see what I can do", she finished then left the glade on horseback.

In the evening she went to the pub once more, already knowing that he would be there. As she entered three men glared at her direction and started yelling at her. "Bloody savage, get out of here!" She stopped immediately in the doorway quickly scanning the room and noticing John sitting in a far away corner. He looked up, when he heard the men yell, and hurried over to her. "You better get out of here", he said still sounding angry. "Not before I have talked with you", she said determinately, and he threw a hand in the air turning away from her. "We have nothing to talk about Pocahontas" he told her, and she noticed it was the first time he spoke out her name. "Please, just listen to me", she said and put a hand on his arm. He turned around looking at her furiously, and she immediately retracted her arm. "All right...you've got two minutes", he said and she followed him to a table.

"Look John, I'm really sorry that I have hurt you, but if I knew you were alive I wouldn't have gotten married. I know it's too late now, but all I want is to say that I'm very sorry...I". He held a hand up in front of her, while grinning evily "Is that the best you can do?" he asked and stood up from the table. "Listen to an advice. Stay at home with your husband. You don't belong in a place like this" he told her leaving her to herself. She sighed sadly standing from the table, when two men approached her. "You filthy barbarian. You don't belong here" one said and raised a hand to her. John immediately caught it and twirled the man around. "It is not very polite to hit a lady", he said and the two men glared at him. "She's no lady. She's just a disgusting savage", one said and John's fist immediately connected with the other man's face. Pocahontas stood stunned and watched as the two men quickly dissappeared out the door. She looked at John, who angrily looked after them. "Thank you, I..." "Forget it", he just said then left her side.

She left the pub quietly, walking silently towards her house. 'Why had he done that?' she thought, and she hoped it was because he still cared for her. But he still wouldn't listen to a word she said. "What am I supposed to do?" she said to herself loudly, and entered the still house. She sat down at the kitchen table and put her head in her hands. 'There must be some way to get through to him, but how?' she thought. Finding no answer, she decided to go to bed.

The sun was warm as she went to the merchant, and when she turned around to go home, she saw John, only standing a few feet away. "Shopping for your husband?" he asked and still looked angrily at her. "No, my husband is in England, if you must know", she said and turned away from him. If he could play tough, so could she. He stood in front of her blocking her way. "It must be hard to be on your own", he said and her heart softened a bit. "I can handle it", she said and went around him. "Have a nice day", she said and waved a hand at him. He didn't try to stop her, and her heart hardened again. He really didn't want anything to do with her.

She went to bed at midnight, but lay awake for several hours, when a knock suddenly sounded at the front door. 'I hope nothing is wrong' she thought to herself and pulled her robe tightly around her body. She opened the door and John almost fell into her arms, having a hard time standing up. "John! Is something wrong", she asked nervously and he laughed at her. "Wrong? No not at all" he said and reeled. She quickly supported him and lead him inside the little house, pulling out a chair for him. He sat down heavily, almost falling off the chair, and she looked at him confused. He had really been drinking hard this evening. But she still couldn't understand what he was doing at her house.

"Are you okay?" she asked and tried to look into his slurred eyes. "I just came by to see how you were", he said on a laugh and tried to stand up. She quickly put a hand to his shoulder and steadied him. "You shouldn't be here so late?" she told him and noticed that he got angry once more. "Why?! Am I waking your husband?" he asked loudly having already forgotten that John Rolfe wasn't at home. "No, but you should be home in your own bed", she said sitting down opposite of him. "What if I want to stay here!" he said raising his voice, and Pocahontas shushed him, when he took her hand. "I just wanted to see your face", his voice softened and she looked at their joined hands. "Why?" she asked already longing for the answer. "Because... I still love you" he told her, and she started crying silent tears, while standing in front of his chair. He hugged her to him tightly and she couldn't stop the tears from wetting her face. "Oh John", she sighed and kneeled on the floor in front of him. "I know you can never love me, like I love you, but I wanted you to know..." he said softly looking down at her. She shushed him again, then kissed him lightly on the lips. He immediately responded, hugging her close. "Oh my love, it has been so long", he sighed and she couldn't help but press herself closer against his body. He was so warm, and she felt so safe in his embrace. Within a couple of minutes he stood up and carried her to the bedroom.

She awoke to the sunlight, which shone through the large windows. Her hand immediately came into contatct with another body, and she turned around and looked at John, who was still sound asleep. She smiled to herself and pressed a light kiss to his forehead, when he started to stir. It took a couple of minutes for him to remember where he was, but when he remembered, he panicked. He had let his guard down and told her that he loved her. How could he?! He didn't want anything to do with her. She was a married woman, who had deceived him. She had forgotten about him, and he still couldn't forgive her that. He quickly got out of bed, putting on his clothes in a haste, then left the house, and Pocahontas sat back staring into space. 'What had just happened?' she thought and started to get out of bed. He had sobered up during the night, and now he regretted everything. Heavy tears fell down her beautiful face, and she hugged herself tightly. He was gone, and there was nothing she could do about it.

John Smith mounted his horse and rode toward a place he hadn't seen for years. Why he was heading in this direction he didn't know., but something called out to him. When he reached the glade, he got off his horse, then kneeled in front of the great tree. "Why, if it isn't John Smith", Grandmother Willow said as she looked down at the man, who she hadn't seen for more than six years. "You haven't been a nice boy lately", she continued and he looked down. "I know. I shouldn't have treated Pocahontas like I did", he told her with a sigh. "But she just made me so furious. How could she marry another man?" he asked angrily and the tree silenced him with a look. "Did you really expect her to never look at another man. She thought you were dead. She was forced to move on, whether she liked it or not", the old tree told him, and his anger vanished in a second. "I know. I should have let her know that I was alive. But when she got married, I didn't think she cared about me anymore", he said to her, and she smiled. "She never stopped caring about you. Can't you tell?" she asked and looked at him. "I don't know. I didn't exactly give her a chance", he said fidgeting with his shirt. "Maybe you should then" she told him with a gentle smile.

He knew she was right, and sighed in defeat. "Of course I should", he said then stood up, going to his horse. "Remember that she is married, and you can't force her to choose you", she yelled after him, and he knew that was what he feared the most. What would he do if she didn't choose him.He didn't think he could handle a rejection, but he had to give it a chance.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

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When he reached Jamestown once more, he started getting nervous. He had really hurt her this morning by leaving without a word. He didn't even know if she was still at home. Where should he start looking for her. He tried knocking on her door, but nobody answered, then went down the streets in search for her.

Pocahontas heard the knocking on her door, but kept sitting still on the bed, with her knees drawn up under her chin. She didn't feel like talking to anyone. Last night had been the best in her life, but this morning had been the worst. Why wouldn't he give her a chance. Did she mean so little to him? She started crying again, having already almost cried her eyes out, but she couldn't stop herself. She would give anything to be with him again, but at the same time she couldn't abandon John Rolfe. He had been so good to her, and even saved her life, when she was in England. She owed him everything, and he was her husband by law. Then how come she couldn't forget John Smith? She knew why. He had been her first love, and even though she thought him dead she still didn't stop loving him. She had once brought up his name to her husband, but he had gotten angry, saying she shouldn't love a ghost, and she knew he was right.

However John wasn't a ghost any more. He was alive and in her town of all places. But there was nothing she could do about it. He had made it very clear that he didn't want her anymore, and she couldn't do anything to change his mind.

It was getting late, and she could see the sun setting in the horizon. She suddenly felt an urge to get out of the house and decided to ride to the village, where there were people she could talk to. She mounted her horse and spurred it on, wanting to reach the place before the sun set. It was almost dark, when she arrived, and she quickly looked around hoping to see Nakoma. She found her sitting by the fire with her husband, but the native girl got up immediately when Pocahontas came near them. "What's wrong?" she asked noticing her tear stained face.

"Can we go somewhere private?" the indian princess asked and the two girls left the fire to sit by the river once more. "It's about John Smith, isn't it?" Nakoma asked, and Pocahontas nodded, while trying to stop her tears from spilling once more. "He's so different. So furious and evil. I tried to reason with him, but he won't even talk to me", she said and dried her face. "Are you sure about that?" Nakoma asked, and the other girl looked at her confused. "Yes I'm sure. Why are you asking?" she said, and Nakoma pointed toward the tents. Pocahontas looked in her direction and saw John coming towards to them. Both girls quickly stood up, and Nakoma greeted him a hello. The other girl just stood still an angry expression on her face. However she couldn't help but look surprised, when he reached them. "What are you doing here?" she asked putting her arms protectively around her. "I...I need to talk with you", he said simply, and she noticed that for the first time he didn't laugh at her, but instead he looked nervous.

"Come with me", she said and took his hand leading him into the canoe that was left on the river bank. They didn't speak at all during their trip, and the silence began to become uncomfortable. They reached the glade within minutes, even though the trip had felt much longer. "So what have you got to say for yourself?" she asked him as they sat down in front of the great tree. "How could you marry him?" John immediately asked, and Pocahontas sighed. "Here we go again!"she said and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Well I couldn't exactly wait for you. You were kind of dead, remember" she told him with a smug look on her face. He shut up and looked at her, then smiled. "Right", was all he said and they once again sat in silence."You know, I wouldn't have married him, if you were alive", she said breaking the silence and he nodded. "I know", he whispered, while she looked away and started braiding her hair, not knowing what to say to him.

"I'm sorry that I left you this morning", he finally said and she stared at him with a little smile. "Thank you", she said then looked up at the great tree. "I remember the last time we were here together", she said and he moved closer to her. "Me too...We shared our first kiss here", he smiled and she couldn't help but smile back at him. "Yes we did" she answered, then almost jumped, when the old tree spoke. "I'm glad to see that you two kids are finally talking to each other", she said and John looked up at her. "Hello Grandmother Willow. It's nice to see you again", he said with a grin and stood up. "You followed my advice, I'm glad", she said and Pocahontas looked at them both. "You've talked to her before?" she asked and also stood up. "Yes, I went to see her this morning. I needed some advice", he said and scratched his head. "Did you get what you needed?" she asked with a smile, already knowing the answer.

John took her hands in his and looked carefully at her. "I'm so sorry...for everything I have put you through these last couple of days", he said and looked down, not being able to meet her eyes. "You're forgiven", she said at once, forcing him to look at her. "I just wish that everything was different", she said with a sigh, knowing that they couldn't be together, even though they both wanted to. "I know", he said sadly letting go off her hands. "So what are we going to do now", she asked, hoping he had an answer. "We are going to keep distance between us, until a lot of time has passed. Given enough time we should be able to..." "...forget", she finished for him, and he looked away. "Exactly", he told her on a sigh and started to move away from her. "I love...", she began. "Don't" he interrrupted and went back to the canoe. "Let's go" he continued, and she followed him silently.

The trip back to the village was as uncomfortable as it was on their way to the glade, and none of them spoke a word to each other. When they arrived at the river bank, John got out of the canoe, then left without even saying goodbye. Pocahontas felt tears wet her face once more. Could she really forget him? She doubted it, but knew it was the only way. They couldn't be together. It was too late. She had made her choice, when she married John Rolfe, and there was nothing more to do. She knew her husband would be back in less than a year, and she wanted to appear happy, when he came home. However she didn't think she could do anything but pretend. Not as long as John Smith lived in Jamestown. How could she go on, seeing him everyday, knowing they could never be. There was no answer for that question, and she sat down sobbing quietly, when Nakoma came up to her.

"It didn't go very well, did it?" she asked and Pocahontas shook her head. "I love him so much, but we can never be together, because I am a married woman", she said and hugged her friend. "I know. I always wished the best for you two, but when we heard he was dead, I gave up all hope. And now you have another life. A life he never can be a part of", Nakoma said and drew her friend closer. "You must try to forget him, even though I know it's the hardest thing to do", she continued and Pocahontas cried harder. "How am I supposed to go on without him?" she asked and looked at her friend for support. "You just have to think of your husband. You love him too, right" the native girl asked and the princess nodded. "Of course I do. But I think I love John Smith more", she said on a sigh, and sat down. "I thought so", Nakoma answered and looked down on the ground. "Last night was the best one of my life", Pocahontas said, then clapped a hand over her mouth, knowing she had said too much. "You were with John Smith last night", the other girl said incredulous, and the princess nodded in silence. "Oh Pocahontas. I'm so sorry", the other girl said, now knowing why her best friend was so miserable. "It doesn't matter. It'll never happen again", she cried then stood up. "I have to go" she said, suddenly wanting to be alone. "I'll come back tomorrow", she continued, then hugged her friend tightly. "Take care", Nakoma answered and went back to the fire, as the princess went to get her horse.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

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The next couple of days she didn't see him, which she was happy about. But in the end of the week, she suddenly saw him at the market. She tried not to look at him, but failed miserably. He looked so good, as he stood there bathed in sunlight, and a heavy sigh went through her, as he turned around to look at her. He came closer, and she qucikly thought about running as fast as she could away from him, but she just stood where she was. "Hi, how are you doing?" he asked and she shrugged her shoulders. "All right", she answered and looked at the ground to advert his eyes. "Well I better..." he said and pointed towards the pub, and she nodded. She didn't like that he was spending most of his time there, but she didn't say anything. It wasn't her job to interfere with his whereabouts, even though she wished it so.

Months went and nothing changed. When they saw each other, a quick hello was all that was said, and Pocahontas felt worse all the time. She didn't want to settle with being friends, but unfortunately that was all they could ever be.

Nakoma sat by the fireplace with her, as she looked into the blazing flames. "You really don't look to good", her friend said, and Pocahontas looked at her angrily. "Well thank you very much", she said and drew her knees up under her chin, then looked at the other girl. "Oh Nakoma, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." "It's all right" her friend said quickly. "I just...I feel so tired and in the last couple of days I haven't felt well at all. I'm feeling so sad and sick, and it's all because of him", the princess said and Nakoma stood up and took her hand. "Come with me", she just said and Pocahontas followed willingly. When they were in Nakoma's tent, they both sat down, looking up at the moonlight, which shone through the hole in the tent top. "You say you have been feeling sick?" Nakoma asked and the other girl nodded. "Yeah I have felt quesy in the mornings, kind of, when I was on the ship to England" she told and looked down. "It just wears me out that I can't speak with him", she finished and looked at her best friend for support. "I think something else is wrong...I think you're pregnant", Nakoma whispered and Pocahontas' eyes widened. "What?! How come you think that..." "You've never felt sick before, and now you suddenly feel nauseous in the morning. That's almost a definite sign", the other girl told her, and the indian princess shook her head. "No...no I'm just starting to become sick, that's all", she said, but Nakoma shook her head. "I don't think so. It has been three months since you were with John Smith, so it fits perfectly", she finished, and looked at her friend, who had a shocked expression on her face.

"No it can't be", Pocahontas sighed and dried a tear of her cheek. "This ruins everything. What will John Rolfe think? He will know that the child is not his", she said and looked at her best friend, who had a sympathetic glint in her eyes."You have to tell John Smith", she said, but the other girl immediately shook her head. "I just can't. This will change everything between us. If I don't tell him about it, I can just keep avoiding him, and he will never know", the princess said, but Nakoma sighed. "It's your own choice. But I would tell him if I was you", she said and stood up, leaving the other girl to herself.

It was late, when Pocahontas arrived back in Jamestown, and she was extremely tired, just wanting to go to sleep at once. "Pocahontas..." She knew it was him, before turning around, and decided to just play it cool, even though her insides were shaking. "John, good evening, what brings you here?" she asked as casual as she could. "I cannot do this anymore. It's too hard living here and not being with you", he said and she looked at him surprised, before turning away. "You know this can't ever be, so why don't you just leave me alone", she said and tied her horse to a pole. He gripped her shoulder and turned her around to face him. It was obvious that he had been drinking again, and she knew that he would never contact her this way, if he had been sober. "Please let me go", she said a warning in her tone. He didn't release her but only pulled her closer. "Let me go!" she said once more, tugging on her arm. "How can you live like this. We love each other!" he said desperately and she pulled herself free from his grasp. "No we don't. I'm in love with my husband", she said and went to the front door, but he followed her closely. "You're not a very good liar", he said a dangerous glint in his deep blue eyes. "I know you love me", he continued, and she turned around pointing her finger at him. "You don't know anything about me or my life. I don't love you, not anymore", she said and went into the house closing the door behind her. His foot stopped the door from shutting and he immediately followed her into the house. "Why are you acting like such a child", he yelled at her and she turned around with tears in her eyes. "Well it's your fault that we're having one!" she returned, then quickly shut her mouth looking at him with a scared expression.

"Excuse me?", he said an advanced on her as she squatted on the floor. Her tears flowed freely now. There, she had said it. He looked at her with large eyes and sat down beside her. "What did you say?" he asked once more as she sobbed on the floor. "You heard me" was all she was able to say. "Are we having a baby?" he asked then started to smile, as she nodded and fell into his arms. "I didn't mean to tell you, it just came out", she said drying her tears on his shirt. "I'm glad you told me", he said and hugged her to him tightly. "But what am I going to do now, and what will John Rolfe say?" she asked desperately, not knowing what to do next. "I'll take care of everything. You don't have to do this on your own", John said and dried her tears with his palm. "Thank you, I appreciate that... And I didn't mean what I said. I still love you. I'm just so confused", she said with a sigh. "I know you are, but there's one thing you don't have to be confused about, and that is my love for you. I will never stop loving, no matter what happens", he said and took her hands in his. She smiled gently at him, then kissed him softly on the lips. "That means everything to me" she told him and stood up. "Let me help you", he said, then put her to bed, noticing how tired she was. "I'm gonna watch over you, while you sleep. You don't have to worry about anything any more", he said softly and she looked at him gratefully, almost falling asleep, before her head hit the pillow.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

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The months flew by and suddenly the day arrived when Pocahontas had her baby. John had fetched the doctor, when she started having contractions. He had now waited several hours in the kitchen, pacing the floor untill he almost went dizzy, when the doctor appeared. "A girl", was all he said and John smiled, then looked at the doctor carefully. "Are both of them all right", he asked and the other man nodded. "They're both fine", he said then left the house.

John entered the dark bedroom, closing the door silently behind him. Pocahontas lay in bed looking paler than she ever had, and in her arms lay a little bundle. He crept closer as she tried to sit up, and he was quickly at her side. "Don't" he said and pressed her down into the matress. She did what he asked and looked at him, exhaustion obvious in her beautiful face. He took the baby from her and stared down at the little package in his arms. She had black hair as her mother, but stunning blue eyes like her father. "She's gorgeuos", he said with a grin and looked at his love. "Yes, she is", Pocahontas said and sighed tiredly. He sat on the side of the bed brushing a stray piece of hair off her forehead. "You did good", he told her and she smiled back at him. "I'm glad you stayed here", she said yawning. "Of course, my love. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else", he smiled. "Now, you better get some sleep. I'll take care of our little princess", he continued and she nodded sleeply. "Thanks", was all she managed to get out, before being sound asleep.

Nakoma and her father came a week later, and they were happy to see that they all were doing well."She's a beauty", her father said then looked at John. "I hope you're taking good care of both my princesses", he continued and John nodded. "I'm doing my best, sir", he said and Powhatan smiled. "I'm sure you are", he told him and looked at his daughter. "I'm so proud of you, my child", he said and embraced her tightly. "Thank you, father", she said and smiled at him, then looked at Nakoma, who also smiled broadly. "She's perfect", she said and hugged her friend, then looked at John. "She has your eyes", she continued and John nodded proudly. "I know", he said and handed the infant over to her mother. "But she has her beauty from her mother", he told them and Pocahontas blushed, looking lovingly at him.

A year had almost gone, and she knew that John Rolfe soon would arrive. He had sent a letter from London, letting her know that he was on his way home. The journey took four months, she remembered that from her own trip to England. And there was only a couple of weeks left. She still didn't know what to tell him, and feared what he might do, when he realized that he wasn't the father of the child. She told John about her feelings and he promised her that he would be by her side, when Rolfe arrived.

However the day the ship came into view he wasn't at her house, and Pocahontas knew she would have to face the problems alone. The ship docked and all cargo was loaded off the ship, when John Rolfe appeared on the gangway. He smiled at her and ran into her arms. She hadn't realized how much she had missed him, and hugged him tightly to her, when she rememebered John. This was going to be harder than she thought.

"I have to talk to you about something" she said a guilty expression in her dark eyes. "Sure, my love. We'll talk about it, when we are home", he said with a gentle smile, but she stopped him, knowing the baby slept at home in the cradle. "No, we need to talk about it now!", she said with emphasis, and he stopped, looking at her. "Is something wrong?" he said and contniued walking towards their home. "Yes...I..." she couldn't get the words past her lips, and before she knew it, they arrived at the house. John Rolfe went inside and sat down at the kitchen table, and Pocahontas stood looking very uncomfortable. "So what is it?" he asked once more staring at her frightened face, when the baby suddenly began to cry. 

"What is that?" he asked a confused look reflected in his eyes, and Pocahontas squatted on the floor. "I'm so sorry", she said and he immediately understood what was going on, and left for the bedrrom, where the crying was coming from. He took one look at the baby, and knew that it wasn't his. "Why you..." he said and turned to look at her with a dangerous glare. "I'm sorry John. I didn't mean to..." she tried, but he cut her off. "So who is the happy father?" he asked staring at her angrily. "I'm sorry", she told him once more, but he wouldn't listen. "I can't believe you would do that to me!" he yelled and she crouched down on the floor, crying her heart out. "I never meant to hurt you", she sobbed and he pulled her up from the floor. "Well you did! You're nothing more than a common whore!" he screamed at her and she gasped as his hand struck her face. "Don't lay a hand on her", a voice said behind them, and they both whirled around to see John Smith standing in the doorway.

"You!" was all Rolfe said and he knew immediately who the father was. "Yes", was all John said as he helped Pocahontas up from the ground, where the blow had send her. "I thought you were dead", Rolfe continued and John hid Pocahontas behind him. "I'm sorry to dissappoint you", he said and put a hand to his sword, when Rolfe unsheathed his sword. "Stop! I don't want anyone fighting over me!" Pocahontas said and stepped in front of both men. "I love both of you, don't you understand! However my love for you have changed Rolfe. When I found out that John Smith was alive, I fell in love with him again. I never forgot him, and you know that", she said and John Rolfe put his sword back in his sheath. "Then I better leave you two lovers alone", he said sarcasticly and left the house. Pocahontas sighed and started to cry again. "I have hurt him, more than I ever thought possible", she sobbed and John came closer wanting to take her in his arms. However she pulled away and sat down. "Go away, I don't need you right now. I want to be alone", she cried and looked at him with a pleading gaze. He nodded then left the room, closing the front door with a bang.

Finally alone hse looked in on her baby, who had been crying the whole time. "Don't cry, my love", she whispered, but couldn't stop her own tears. How had she gotten herself into this kind of mess. She still loved John Rolfe, but not the way he wanted her to, and now she had also hurt John Smith by saying she didn't need him. "Oh honey, when will I ever learn to shut up?" she asked and her baby looked up at her smiling. "I love you so much", Pocahontas said and hugged her infant. "I better go find your father...and tell him that I cannot live without him", she finished and put her child back into the cradle. The girl was soon asleep, and the princess left the house, wanting to find John, before she awoke.

She went to the pub first, but there was no sign of him. She then walked the streets, hoping to find him, but he was nowhere to be seen. She sat down in the middle of the street, praying that he was all right, then returned to her home, not wanting to leave the baby alone anymore. It became night and still there was no sign of any of the men. 'Now I have lost them both' she thought and stared into the empty air. When she finally fell asleep it was almost dawn and her body was exhausted from the events of the previous evening.

She awoke, when her daughter cried and stood up to go to her, when she noticed that John already had her in his arms. "John!" she exclaimed and ran to him. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you...I..." she started but he held up a hand. "I know why you acted like you did, and you had the right to be alone", he interrupted her, and she fell into his arms, carefully avoiding to crush the baby. "I also need to talk to John Rolfe. I need to sort out this mess", she said and John looked her. "After what he did to you?" he asked and she nodded. "I need to tell him how sorry I am, and that I'll always love him". John looked at her surprised then handed her the child. "Then I guess you won't be needing me anymore", he said and moved towards the door. "Oh no...no you're wrong. I love you and I want to be with you. I just need to tell him that in someway I'll always love him, but you are the one that I want to be with. Forever", she said hastely, and he stopped and spun around, a smile on his handsome feature. "Go. I'll take care of her", he told her and took the baby once more. She kissed him passionately on the lips, before heading out the door.

She looked around when she came outside, already knowing where John Rolfe would be. Rushing to the dock, she saw him standing in front of one of the great ships. "John Rolfe!", she called and he turned around, when he heard her voice. She reached his side and looked up at him. "I'm really sorry..." she started, but he stopped her. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have treated you the way I did", he said and looked down at her face. "I should have known you wouldn't wait for me, and with John Smith being alive, who could blame you. You loved him still, even when we got married", he told her then stared out into the salt water. "I'm going back to England and I plan to stay". She nodded at him, knowing it was for the best. "I just hope that you will be happy", he said and took her hand. "I will be", she smiled then embraced him. "Thank you...for everything", she said then let him go.

Returning to the house she saw John sit with their daughter singing quietly to her, and the native girl smiled, knowing she would indeed be happy. John stopped when he saw and went to the bedroom to put the baby in her cradle. Pocahontas followed him and looked at him happily. "We haven't even found a name yet", he said and looked at her. She smiled and looked at her daughter. "I have thought about Victoria", she said and John looked thoughtful for a minute, before grinning. "I like it", he answered and put his arm around her.

John Rolfe signed the divorce papers in London and sent them to her. Finally she was free, free to be with her one true love. They decided to hold the wedding in the village, so they could be married in her culture. "I'm glad you are back, my brother", her father said, having approved of John since he saved his life, and Pocahontas smiled lovingly at both of them. "You are the two most important men, and I'm glad to finally have both of you in my life", she said and kissed John softly, knowing that her life was now perfect.


End file.
